What Amnon and Absolom Deserved

How many of you have read the story in the Bible of Amnon and Tamar? Just in case you haven't, here it is in a nutshell.


King David had several wives and lots of children by them. Amnon, his son, thought Tamar (David's daughter by another wife) was beautiful. He fell in love with her. Amnon's friend told him to pretend to be sick and have King David tell Tamar to go and take care of him. So, he did and Tamar went to Amnon's house to fix him some food. When she brought it to him, he told everyone else to leave and then he raped her. It's recorded that Tamar pleaded with him to not do such a terrible thing. She even advised Amnon to ask King David for her hand in marriage rather than force her right then. Amnon refused. In addition to raping Tamar, he threw her out of his house immediately afterwards. As she left, she tore her beautiful robe and threw dirt on her head, crying. Her robe was the kind the king's virgin daughters wore.

When King David heard about all this, he was furious. Tamar's brother, Absolom, hated Amnon for disgracing his sister. Later in life, when Absolom married, he named his daughter Tamar, after his sister.

Two years after Amnon's crime against Tamar, Absolom held a feast and invited all the king's sons. Amnon was invited as well. Absolom commanded his servants to kill Amnon during the feast. They did and Absolom fled to another country.

After three years, King David was consoled about Amnon's death and wanted Absolom to return. So, he sent Joab, the captain of the army, to bring him back. Approximately six years later, Absolom committed treason and King David and his entire household fled. Absolom was soon killed and his troops defeated by David's army.

Okay, I've always read that story and felt Amnon got what he deserved. He messed with his half-sister and her brother got even by killing Amnon. However, as I read the story this time, I was curious. What was the legal punishment under the Jewish Law, the Law of Moses, for Amnon's crime? So, I went back to the books Exodus, Leviticus and Deuteronomy.

Under the law of Moses, the crime for raping an unbetrothed virgin (one who was not engaged or married) was this: the offender was required to marry the girl and pay her father 50 shekels of silver--or about $340 and the man would never be allowed to divorce the girl because he had disgraced her. The girl's father could absolutely refuse to give his daughter to the offender. In that case, the man was still required to pay the 50 shekels of silver.


It's interesting to note that if the girl was betrothed, the offender was stoned to death and the girl lived, but only if the rape occured in the country where there was no one to hear the girl scream. If the betrothed girl was violated in the city (and apparently no one heard her scream) the offender and the girl were stoned.

Amnon and Tamar's case is complicated. The Law of Moses stipulated that close relatives were not to marry, especially half siblings. If they did, they were shunned. It was rightly considered a terrible dishonor to do such a thing to a sister and Amnon would have born the responsibility for his actions for the rest of his life.

King David did not force the marriage of Amnon and Tamar (probably out of compassion for his daughter!), but it's not recorded that he actually punished Amnon in any way. It's possible that Amnon was shunned, but I wish that we were told if he at least had to pay the bride-price (the 50 shekels of silver, $340 dollars) for Tamar. I'm guessing that to Absolom, it appeared that Amnon got off pretty easy and I'm guessing that did not sit well with Absolom at all.

So, two years later, Absolom plots revenge. He hosts a large feast with the intention of murdering his brother. He orders his servants to kill Amnon and the deed is done. Now, what is the legal punishment for Absolom's crime?

The punishment for premeditated murder with more than one witness (such as the murder of Amnon by Absolom) was immediate death penalty. That's why Absolom fled!

When I realized that, I thought, why in the world didn't King David enforce the law?! I'm looking back at history and seeing how allowing Absolom to live (and inviting him home again) almost cost King David his life! It also allowed Absolom to commit treason, start a civil war (with over 20,000 casualties) and defile 10 of King David's concubines. (We're told in the Bible that David left 10 concubines to keep the palace when he and everyone else in the palace fled from Absolom. Absolom then set up a tent on the roof top and slept with each of the ten concubines.)

If only David had executed Absolom instead of forgiving him! Then, I started looking at this story from the perspective of a mom. I have two sons. What if one had committed a terrible crime and I forgave him and offered him mercy. Then, the younger son, in revenge murdered his brother. What would I do? I've lost one son. Do I want to lose another? Would I be able to demand my remaining son be executed? Would I be able to forgive and offer mercy like David did?

What if I've had this story wrong all along? What if it isn't about Amnon committing a terrible crime and Absolom getting revenge? What if it is about a very merciful king and father who instead of punishing his sons to the full extent of the law offered them mercy?

We don't know how Amnon behaved after the Tamar incident. Maybe he repented and became a better person, maybe not.

We do know how Absolom behaved after he was shown mercy. And, he was shown mercy! We're told that King David was consoled concerning Amnon's death. He knew why Absolom had murdered Amnon and apparently he forgave him! He invited him to come home, and he did not execute him! Even when Absolom rebelled, declared himself king and brought together an army of over 20,000 men against his father, David ordered his entire army to "be gentle" with Absolom. (They killed Absolom anyway.) Talk about the mercy of this king and father!

Hmmm...what is that a picture of? Do we not serve a greater King? Have an eternal Father? And One who showed us mercy instead of punishing us to the fullest extent of the law?

And what is God's Law? Well, it is at least the 10 commandments! I am the Lord your God...you shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make an idol. You shall not misuse God's name. Remember the Sabbath to keep it holy. Honor your father and mother. You shall not murder, or commit adultery (any sex outside of marriage), steal, lie, or covet.

Jesus clarified the 10 commandments by showing us that God sees hatred as murder and lust as adultery. He said that all the law and the prophets are fulfilled in loving God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength and loving our neighbors as ourselves. Has anyone of us, if we're truly honest with ourselves, kept EVERY commandment? No. We've all sinned and fallen short of God's glory.

Sometime, go back and read through the punishments described for sin under the Law of Moses (which he got from God).

Picking up sticks on the Sabbath: stoned to death. (You know why that seems so harsh to us? Because WE do not remember the Sabbath or keep it holy.)

Worshipping anything other than the LORD God: death.

If a person lied under oath in a court of law, whatever the accused was going to get as punishment, the liar got.

If a girl was given in marriage and upon consumation of the marriage, it was shown she was not a virgin, she was stoned to death.

If a man had a stubborn and rebellious son who would not obey his father or mother and would not listen when they disciplined him, they were to take him to the elders of the town. They were to say, "This son of ours is rebellious and stubborn. He completely lacks moral restraint, is a drunkard and playboy. He will not obey us." Then the whole town was to stone the son to death.

If anything, these laws show us that God absolutely does not tolerate sin. And yet we spend our whole lives sinning! I've wondered why God doesn't just strike down murderers with heavenly lightning bolts of justice. It would save us a lot of trouble! There would be no tax dollars going to fund lifetime inmates or repeat offenders if God Himself saw to it that as soon as a crime was committed, justice was carried out. The only problem is that God is SO holy and SO just that we'd all be dead. Not one of us is innocent, yet graciously, thankfully, this Great King and Father keeps giving us more time, showing us more mercy.

Yes, there is a day coming when we'll stand before the Great King--our Judge. We will be held responsible for how we've lived. What then will you do with the mercy God extends to you? Will you trample it by rebelling? Will you gather an army of followers to rebel with you? Will you take revenge on the wrongs done to you and those you love? Or, will you forgive as you have been forgiven by God? Show mercy to those who wrong you? Love your enemies? Pray for those who mistreat you and slander you?

We know that Absolom never did change. He abused and trampled the mercy that was shown him. Yet, even at the very end, after King David's army had killed Absolom, we find that the king grieved over his rebellious, traitorous son. When he heard Absolom was dead, he wept and cried out, "O my son Absolom! My son, my son Absolom! If only I had died instead of you! O Absolom my son! (NIV)" The father cried out for his son and we see a picture of how God, our Father, weeps and grieves for the ones who never change. Our God takes no pleasure in the death of the wicked. He's not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.

So, what will you do with the mercy shown to you?