Catching Up and Catching Fish

Where to start?

Our driveway is passable again. With all the spring run-off flooding the fields around our house, water started to go over our gravel road, so we had to trench it. Deep and wide, deep and wide, there was trench across our road deep and wide...okay, I'll stop now. It's filled in now and we don't have to park the Jeep, jump a creek, and walk a 1/4 mile just to get home!

We've ordered the seeds for our garden. I'm not going to say how much we spent, but Brandon probably should have culled a few items before I confirmed the order. I'm not sure we really needed 3 kinds of radishes, peas, beans and lettuce. We probably didn't need 2 kinds of pumpkin and watermelon seeds either. OH WELL...We'll see which of each grows best in our climate!

Brandon and I took the boys fishing on Saturday. I haven't been fishing for a couple years, which is really sad since my husband is a fishing guide. But, I wanted to go with Brandon and Elijah, so I got a fishing license. Actually, what happened is that while I was getting the boys ready to go, Brandon pulled up the ND Game and Fish website and typed in all my info and printed off my fishing license for me. When it got to the part about my height and weight, Brandon asked, "You're 5'4'', right?" Yeah. "And 150lbs, right?" Uh, NO! I told him what to put in, but he kept joking about the 150 (okay, so he knows what I weigh and it's not even close to 150). So, I told him that if he put in 150, I'll eat my 'weigh' there. Haha. We had a good laugh about it.

I know the really big deal about fishing on Saturday is that Elijah, being of sound mind and body, at the sweet young age of TWO, caught his very first fish ever...that is a big deal. But, since no one else will tell you this, I'm going to. The other big deal about fishing on Saturday is that I caught 3 fish myself and, get this...actually took 2 of them off the hook all by myself--And they were Northern Pike! Can you see how mean and ugly Northerns are? They have like 30 million teeth--SHARP teeth! I am the woman! (Okay, so maybe it's not such a big deal...I, Joy Wegener, being of sound mind and body, at the uh...sorta young, sorta old age of 27, took my own Northern Pike off my own hook for the first time. Naaahh, it just doesn't have the same ring to it.)

Now, if you're wondering why I didn't take the first Northern off myself, well, it was because the stupid fish swallowed the hook, then twisted around so that the leader was wrapped around it a couple times. Then, to top it off, (and I'm not joking) the fish bit a dead cattail next to shore and it wouldn't let go! So, obviously, I'm gonna let Brandon take care of that one.

I do have to admire that Northern. At least he wasn't complacent. "Okay, here I am. Yes, take the hook out. Okay, now keep me for supper. Woe is me. I'm done for."

Lately, I've had the feeling that life is just happening to me--like so many things are out of my control. Can you relate? You're just swimming along, minding your own business, and wham! Something is taking you somewhere you don't want to go and no matter what you do to fight it, you're still being dragged toward it. Well, my friend, when you get pulled out of the water, just bite a cattail. But, seriously...don't give up yet! It might not be as bad as it looks. We did let the fish go.

Getting Outside and Cleaning It Up

My summer is going to be busier than I thought. Along with plans for a large organic garden, raising chickens (for the first time), learning to can vegetables, caring for two small children and the everyday duties of life, I now realize that the farmstead we just moved to needs A LOT of clean up. I don't quite understand why people will clutter up an otherwise beautiful farmstead with old rusty machinery, junked out cars, miscellaneous discarded equipment, and trash.

Hold that thought. I should make one confession here. I like the outdoors. I just prefer to look at all the beauty of God's creation from inside a nice, comfortable home. I would like being outside a lot more if there weren't so many bugs and if my fair skin didn't burn so easily. But, I'm not into spraying a bunch of nasty chemical pesticides on everything to get rid of bugs, sunscreen is annoying and so are sunburns. So, I just stay inside most of the time.

This summer, my goal is to break my habit of living indoors and spend most of my days outside. There will be plenty to keep me busy! Somehow, I need to rediscover that tomboyish 18yr old who loved excitement and adventure, fishing and exploring, hiking and rollerblading. Or at least rediscover that part of myself just enough to enjoy cleaning up trash, collecting eggs, feeding chickens, planting, weeding, harvesting produce, oh yeah...and playing outside with my two boys--I almost forgot about the one thing that actually sounds like fun and not work.

Do you know that feeling when you know something should be fun and it's good for you, and probably will be fun once you get into it, but you're kinda scared that you won't like it or that you'll fail at it? That's kinda what it feels like looking at this summer. I really want to garden, raise chickens, learn to can vegetables, make this place look awesome, but I'm a little scared that I'll 'chicken' out. That I won't like it and that I'll end up watching it all from inside again.

It probably sounds like I'm one of those agoraphobic people who never leave the house. Seriously, I'm not. I go to the store, appointments, church, wherever I need to be. But, this summer, I'm going to spend as much time outside as I can. In North Dakota, winters are long (especially this last one) and I don't want to find myself suddenly in October, full of regrets about spending so much of another summer inside --even if my outside 'to do' list isn't as exciting as it was when I was that 18 year old tomboy.

When a Two Year Old Thinks He's in Charge

Elijah, my two-year old son, is a sweetie. He's a good helper; he's cheerful and quirky; he's a kind older brother to Daniel, my 8 1/2 month old son; but at times, he's a REAL handful.

Like lately, he's discovered a million and one things to ask for at bedtime. We (my husband and I) send him to bed for the night and every 2-5 minutes for the next hour and half, he's getting out of bed asking for water, to be tucked in (again), to have a story read to him (again), to get help to find his toy truck, to tell us he is 'scared' (although he shows no signs of being actually scared or knowing what scared means), to ask for another diaper change (he's peed about a teaspoon of urine into his diaper and now he's wet), to show us his newest (invisible) ouchie, to ask us to pray for his last five ouchies...okay, I'll spare you and not list off all the reasons.

During the day, he requires constant vigilance. He's started pushing over Daniel (who, thankfully, is a pretty tough chunk of baby) and taking his toys away. He also copycats behavior that Daniel gets scolded for. He screams bloody murder when he doesn't get his own way, or doesn't get it fast enough. He's also entered the "MINE!" and "NO!" stage. Uggh. Was I ever that whiny and demanding as a child? Okay, yes, I'm sure I was.

But, last night, after getting in trouble for throwing a fit at bedtime, he actually came out of his bedroom and found me and said, "Mommy, I sorry. Sorry, Momma." I gave him a big hug, thanked him for apologizing and told him, "I forgive you, sweetie." Then he went back into his room, got into bed and went to sleep without any more dramatics!

I was left sitting in the living room in shock. Was that my kid? My Elijahman? Well, all I can say, is that I knew that sweet little boy was in there somewhere and it sure was good to see him again!

I'm trying my best to raise him in a way that honors God, teaches him to be a good citizen, and hopefully produces a responsible, kind young man in a couple decades. Sometimes, it seems like a losing battle, but then there are those small glimpses that make me think I might not be failing at parenting after all.